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Reads like a Dungeons and Dragons module setting. Which is good and bad. Well established elements make the plot dependants on the interesting scenarios and story development. The characters I won't say lack depth but lack development. Overall a very good story, just needs some refinement.

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Thanks for reading! Fitting that you mention D&D though, Warhammer 40k occupies much of the inspiration for this story and while writing for this prompt I could not get the Dawn of War RTS or Black Crusade out of my head. I fully expect to appeal to those Neverwinter Nights memories in my head sooner rather than later.

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